Tag: declutter

Week 9 | Facebook Friends | 52 Weeks to Downsize & Minimalize

Post author By Bella Organizing
Post date March 2, 2017

Are you or someone you know a collector of Facebook friends? Do you know someone with hundreds or thousands of friends and wonder how they find the time and achieve the personality to be that social? Are you concerned about your online privacy?

In this article we review pros and cons of deleting Facebook friends around the topics of privacy, professionalism, and toxic people, and valuable ways to enhance online relationships with those we choose to remain in our digital lives.

Privacy

Pro – If you keep only people you know and trust as Facebook friends, you can feel good hoping that what you post will be respected and kept private. Your real-life friends know you best, and are more likely to support you and not take things you write out of context, even when you’re pouring your soul out onto your wall. Regularly check and adjust Facebook privacy settings if you don’t want everyone knowing everything about your Facebook activity.

Con – The things you let people know can both harm and help you. You can delete a potentially valuable network of people who in the future may offer advice or connections when you are looking for a job, housing, clients, or anything you need an answer to or assistance with.

Professionalism

Pro – Even if you get along with your boss and co-workers, it’s not advised to include them in your personal Facebook community. Unless you rarely post and post nothing that can be considered negative or taken out of context in any way (including photos and shared posts), keep work at work and home at home. People you’re linked to on Facebook can also read what you comment on other people’s posts and see what events you’re interested in whether you attend them or not. You can lose the respect of customers and higher ups for the smallest things; it’s too easy for social media activity to be interpreted in ways you never thought imaginable.

Con – If you delete the people you currently work with and see them at work the next day, bad news, broham…you just made things worse. Consider not adding these people in the first place. You can also start a fresh Facebook page that includes only your most personal friends and family.

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn

Toxic People

Pro – Online or in-person, the people you affiliate with become you, and you become them. Do the 389 Facebook friends you have bring you up, drag you down, or are they okay people to have around? Would it make a difference in your life to delete those responsible for the posts that always make you feel sad, hurt, or upset you in any way? You can “unfollow” them, and avoid seeing their posts all together, but they still have access to yours.

Con – We all experience rough times at some point in life. Venting sadness, frustration, and depression in a healthy way is good, but not everyone is capable of seeing a therapist, exercising it out, writing it down in a journal, or talking privately about their situation to anyone other than their 589 Facebook friends. If you don’t give a potentially toxic person the chance to let you see the non-toxic side of them, you may be giving up too soon. This is your chance to be a shining star in that person’s life, and become more of a friend by listening to their problems and offering positive feedback, and even scheduling time to meeting up with them in person or talk on the phone. Perhaps you’re what they need to help purge the toxicity. If you’re not willing to take the steps to become a better friend, then perhaps it’s time to reconsider your digital connection with this person.

Three easy ways to enhance personal relationships with Facebook friends

Write positive comments in their posts or on their wall now and again. It’s easy to be self-conscious and take silence as a sign of not being “liked.” If you like someone, let them know with a nice comment now and again. It can be a confidence booster, and will invite them to look your way with a smile. It’s the modern way of sending a holiday card to someone year around. It’s amazing how you suddenly get holiday cards, in the form of Facebook likes and comments, in return.
Send a personal message via Facebook. Liking a post and typing a nice comment is great, and the occasional one-on-one is gold. If you’re not comfortable enough to text or call (assuming you have their cell number), send a private congratulatory, happy birthday, or other positive message via Facebook. Although it can seem uncomfortable (after all, we are living in the day of freaking out when someone knocks on the door or rings the doorbell), it can be a real game-changer toward a deeper personal connection with an online friend.
Invite the people you want to get to know better to real-life Facebook-promoted events. Whether they respond or not is up to them, but the step you take to invite them is your way of taking the initiative to welcome them into your real world. Go even deeper, and send them a personal message about the invite you sent and how nice it would be to see them.

_____

Research suggests that people have trouble maintaining more than 150 real-life friendships at a time. It’s called “Dunbar’s Number” after the Oxford University anthropologist who discovered the phenomenon. Dumbar claims that the number of friendships beyond 150 begins to “strain the cognitive capacity of the human brain.”

Facebook’s own research reflects a similar finding, and has come up with interesting data on the online “friend” phenomena. Watch this 15-minute Ted Talk for more juicy research tidbits..

Isabella Guajardo, founder and owner of Bella Organizing, is a San Francisco Bay Area professional organizer offering home organizing, interior redesign, and residential move management services throughout the Greater San Francisco Bay Area. Call (510) 229-7321 or email info@bellaorganizing.com for more information. Gift certificates are available.

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Tags 52 weeks to downsize and minimalize, best home organizing blogs, best organizers in oakland, best professional organizers, declutter, downsize, facebook delete, facebook friends, home organizing tips, how to get facebook friends, professional organizers san francisco bay area, social media

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Week 8 | 52 Weeks to Downsize & Minimalize | Undergarments

Post author By Bella Organizing
Post date February 21, 2017

Have you taken a good look at the condition of your undergarments lately? Is your sock and underwear drawer overflowing, hard to open and close because it’s stuffed with too much? Are you a neat roller and folder, or a messy tosser and forgetter?

This week we are reviewing the state of your unmentionables: socks, underwear, bras, thongs, control undergarments, shape wear, boxers, briefs, singlets/tank tops, and undershirts. It’s time to take a good, honest look and decide whether or not these things are suitable to live on your body and take up space in your chest of drawers. You’re going to toss what is not worthy, and neatly organize the rest.

But first, let’s learn a few fun names for underwear to loosen up before you get started:

Panties
Drawers
Chonies – my favorite!
Bloomers
Skivvies
Jockeys
Undies
Knickers
Pretties
Unmentionables – I just learned this one!

10 Reasons to let those unmentionables go:

they are too tight, baggy, or stretched so wide they no longer stay up
they have holes, rips or tears you’re unwilling to repair RIGHT NOW
they don’t support what they’re supposed to support
they are made with itchy fabric
they poke, prod, or hurt in any way (that underwire bra coming unwired… ouch! You feel me?)
you’re getting infections by wearing them
they have stains so deep, the toughest bleach in the world cannot help them
they keep rolling up, rolling down, and twisting round and round
they have been laying around untouched for at least one year, for any reason. You know what that reason is.
because you simply do not like the look or feel of them on your body

Not good at picking out underwear? Read this: How To Choose Comfortable Underwear

How many pair of socks and underwear does one need? Answer: One for each day of the week.

Keep those undergarments neat.

How to Fold A Bra

socks_organize_declutter_decluttering_bella_organizing_undergarments — Roll socks and leggings into neat storage nooks.

Hang all tops including tanks and undershirts to keep them neat and wrinkle-free. Lingerie, too.

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Tags Bella Organizing, best home organizing blogs, best organizers in oakland, best professional organizers, declutter, downsize, home organizing tips, how to declutter, konmarimethod, minimalism, professional organizers san francisco bay area, tips for getting organized, undergarments, underwear

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Week 7 | 52 Weeks to Downsize & Minimalize | Books & Magazines

Post author By Bella Organizing
Post date February 13, 2017

Do you feel burdened by the amount of books or magazines you own? Do you find yourself lugging them around wherever you go, home to home, storage unit to storage unit, just to stack and store them on a shelf or keep them in moving boxes without ever reading them? Does the thought of getting rid of your books or magazines terrify you, as if you’d be slicing off a big chunk of your life’s history if they are no longer by your side? There are plenty of reasons to be inspired to downsize and minimize those beautiful things that provide knowledge, joy, and entertainment to all. Read on…

Reason #1 – Friends of the Public Library

Libraries everywhere are in dire need of and accept donations. Some donations are needed as regular inventory, others used to fundraise for library programs. Libraries take current best sellers, classic fiction and non-fiction, books on CD, music CDs in jewel cases, timely non-fiction, large print books, popular or classic DVDs.

Reason #2 –Prisoners Literature Project

A San Francisco Bay Area-based non-profit group that provides free books to prisoners across the United States. They’ve been doing it for 30 years! They accept books that help prisoners with language and vocational skills, and inform them about history and culture. The most requested are dictionaries, how-to books, and those about African-American, Latino, and Native American history and culture.

TRUE STORY

book_shelf_clutter_declutter_downsize_minimalize

I had a client who was a world re-known author. In addition to her own writings, she had collected hundreds of boxes of literature over the years, many of which were sent to her by the authors themselves, signed and with personal notes to her. She was downsizing everything she owned, and instead of holding onto the books for longer, she made the decision to donate them to a leading research university. She felt freed from the burden she had trouble letting go of for so long, and excited that the books were going to be used for a good cause.

Reason #3

Your books may have increased, or drastically decreased, in value. It’s worth the research to know and possibly make tons of money off them.

Amazon & Ebay – Set your own price. An easy online resource to sell books, textbooks, books on CD, CDs, DVDs, and more. I suggest researching the value of your books on these websites before lugging heavy boxes to bookstores. It can be worth it to sell them yourself from the comfort of your home.
Half-Price Books (over 120 locations nationwide) – They buy books, books on CD, music, and more.
Amoeba Records (Berkeley, San Francisco, & Hollywood) – They buy CDs, DVDs, records, video games, and more.

TRUE STORY

beastie_boys_grand_royal_magazine_declutter_downsize

I had a client who called me to get his office organized. When my team and I arrived, the office was FILLED with boxes of music books, music magazines, and music cds. He LOVED music and never let go of anything he collected since childhood. His goal – at first – wasn’t to downsize…until I informed him of the high value of his mint-condition heavy metal and hip hop magazines that were collecting dust. The one that excited me most was a rare Grand Royal Magazine, put out by the Beastie Boys in their heyday. “The magazine was a mix of music, culture and random things the Beastie Boys thought was cool like kung fu, demolition derby, and Moog synthesizers,” and came with a floppy 7″ Beastie Boys single inside. Only six issues were released. He spent the next several weeks online saying goodbye to his stash and hello to cash.

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Week 3 | 52 Weeks to Downsize and Minimalize | Clear the Skeletons

Post author By Bella Organizing
Post date January 16, 2017

“Skeletons in the closet” is a colloquial phrase and idiom used to describe a hidden shame or a secret someone does not want revealed out of fear that it would have a negative impact on the perception of them by others. It can also mean not being ready to emotionally let go of something.

Whether you are holding onto a deep, dark secret or simply stuffing your mess in the closet when company arrives, it’s time to clear out, clean up, and get things organized.

What kind of skeletons do we hide in the closet? Here are examples:

The mess that has no home and gets scooped up and stuffed into a closet, the bedroom, or the garage when company comes over.
The old diaries and journals that tell stories no one else should know.
Crutches, splints, and braces held onto for years, leftover from old injuries, in anticipation of injuries to come.
Bad memories or a broken heart for which steps have not been taken to purge, heal, and move on.
Old pictures, journals, and love letters that only make you sad to see and read.
The belongings of the children – now grown adults off to college or married with their own family – which remain boxed and stored in your house, and prevent you from making better use of the space it fills.
The belongings of deceased relatives you’ve inherited and procrastinated on dealing with.
The bills gone unpaid, and the resulting bad credit score that’s been holding you back from financing a car or purchasing a house.

What kinds of skeletons are in your closet?

Step One

Write out a list of skeletons you have been holding onto and are ready to clear out of the (figurative or literal) closet.

Step Two

Prioritize the list, and write out how you’re going to clear one or more of them out of the house and your life this week.

Step Three

Get it done. Actively join me for Week 3 – Clear the Skeletons – 52 Weeks to Downsize & Minimalize, and clear them out for good.

An example from my personal list:

A skeleton in my closet is an old journal I’ve held onto for 7 years in which I wrote about things going on in my life during the years 2009-2010, which were not the best of times. Although it makes me sad to read the entries, I hold onto the journal because it is a hand-made gift from the ex about which many of the entries are written.

What am I going to do about it?

It’s time to purge the negative past for good and have a journal-burning party.

Here are examples shared by clients (who agreed to have them post anonymously):

Skeletons in my closet are the tons of old kids toys, books, clothing, and art projects I’ve held onto for years that are stuffed into boxes in the garage. The kids are grown and no longer play with or wear them. I’ve done nothing about sorting through the art, half of which I know is junk. But I’m afraid to let go. I love my kids and have such great memories of when they were little. They are adults now and don’t want any of the stuff for their own kids. The stuff has claimed my life and my garage, which is now completely cluttered with all their old stuff to the point where I can’t park my car, and wouldn’t dare let anyone into it.

What am I going to do about it?

I’m going to sort through each box, one by one. It will take me a while, but one box at a time is manageable. I will sort through at least one this week. I’ll probably cry a lot, but it will be over the good memories. I will take photos to preserve the memories, and donate the rest to families in need. I’ll only keep 25% at the most. ~ Anonymous

~~~

I own over 200 pairs of shoes. Very expensive shoes that range from $200-$2000 each. For a long time I took care and had them professionally organized into clear shoes boxes, each with a photo of the shoes taped on the front of the box so that I can easily see what they are. The boxes have been neatly stacked for years in the closet. I haven’t worn any of them.

I’ve since collected more shoes, and lost interest in putting them into neat little boxes with pictures, so now they are in the boxes they originally came in. It works fine because it protects them from dust and dirt, but again, they are out of sight and out of mind, and I hardly wear any of them.

I’m getting old, no longer can wear high heels, and can no longer afford to splurge so wildly. The thought of donating them scares me. I paid so much for them! But I have to get real, and need to get rid of them.

What am I going to do about it?

I’m going to consign them. Whatever is not accepted for consignment, I’m simply going to donate to charity. They will not come back home with me! It will be hard, but they would only stay stored in my closet and bedroom forever. It’s time to just let them go. ~ Anonymous

What skeletons are YOU clearing out of your closet and life this week?

Join me for Week 3 – Clear the Skeletons – 52 Weeks to Downsize & Minimalize, and clear them out for good.

~~~

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Week 2 | 52 Weeks to Downsize and Minimalize | Setting Intentions

Post author By Bella Organizing
Post date January 9, 2017

Set Intentions for The New Year & Life

The following are three ways to plant the seeds of Intention for Success. I recommend practicing all three for best results.

No. 1: Create a free-writing journal of what you want, why, and what you intend to do to live it. The journey from the mind down the path through your heart and onto the page is an important one. Save you writings digitally in a folder on your desktop, in the notepad of your smart phone, or in a paper journal, and revisit weekly or monthly to be reminded of your intentions.

No. 2: Write one or two short sentences for each Intention -as if they are happening now- and place them where you will see them daily. Some ideas include on the desk, refrigerator, computer desktop screen, the mobile phone home screen. There may be days you are too busy to notice them, but they are still there, and soon enough you will see your intentions and be reminded.

Here are two Intentions I set for myself this week

I read lots of library books, my vocabulary is expansive, and conversations with friends, colleagues, and strangers are fun and exciting!
I wear my best and most comfortable shoes. I only need a minimal amount of shoes, and am donating the rest to people in need.

(Read Week #1 What and Why to learn the juicy details of why I set these intentions.)

No. 3: Create a vision board of your Intentions and what it looks like to live the life you want. This can be a sketch, painting, or collage of pictures and written intentions on a 8.5×11 piece of paper or large poster board. Place it where you will see and be reminded of your vision daily. See #3 in this link for a sample vision board.

Next Step: Live life. Once you plant the seeds of intention, and place reminders for yourself around your home, it’s time to let the life you want miraculously unfold.

What Is Intention?

Intention is like a seed. You grow it like a plant. It thrives when cultivated and cared for, and wilts when neglected, but never truly dies.

Intention lives in the heart. Once you set an intention from the heart, it is always there. You plant the seed. There may be days, weeks, and months you forget your intentions, and it may seem as if they are disappearing from your life, but they are still there.

Memory allows us to reflect on the past, and to remember our intentions planted from the heart. Once you recall your intentions, the heart begins to stir. When you begin to act on your intentions, they start to grow and thrive. The more you exercise your intentions, the stronger the heart grows. Soon you will live them out every day, without thinking much about them, because your heart’s intentions are strong and become a way of life. The more you feed your intentions, the more they will feed you. It is a strong, symbiotic relationship that gives you nourishment and strength to be true to your intentions every day. It becomes an unconscious way of life.

Goals focus on achievement. Intentions provide integrity and unity that build a foundation for a way of life.

Setting intentions is different from goal setting, as it’s not oriented toward a future outcome. You set intentions based on the understanding of what matters most to you and make a commitment to align your present actions with them. It is a practice that focuses on the relationship between you and the seeds you plant. Through cultivating your intentions, you learn to make decisions about ways to grow your seeds without getting caught up in the idea of reaching a destination. You are not expecting yourself or the seeds to be perfect, but rather allowing the flexibility of learning the beautifully diverse ways of being and doing, while working toward the healthy growth and development of your heart’s intentions.

My Personal Intention for Happiness

“Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” -Margaret Lee Runbeck

This popular quote has served me in life for decades. When I first read it, I connected with it deeply. It soon became the signature quote in my personal email, and is the quote I use to this day in my personal Facebook bio. I place it where I see it often so I can always recall what matters to me most and share with others the idea that happiness is not an end goal, but rather a way of living.

Seeing this quote reminds me to let go of negativity and move on. I do what I need to be happy in life, and at times it means passing up, or re-directing myself, out of the path of toxic people and situations that build up along the way.

I am no longer on an endless search for happiness. I own it.

I set the intention for happiness in life, and exercise it regularly through positive thoughts of gratitude for all good things that have happened in the past, or are yet to come. Life is not perfect and there are occasional bumps along the road, but if there were not bad days I would take for granted all the good. This contrast is a blessing and reminder for me to appreciate the beauty of happy times in the past and present, and what I have to look forward to on the journey to come.

I know what happiness is.

When a day is bad or things go wrong, I recall the happiest times in my life, and through that, know what needs to be done to lift myself out of the ditch I’ve fallen into. Perhaps the mud in the ditch is a skin-nourishing mud bath blessing in disguise. Lifting yourself out of the ditch starts with perspective and attitude, is sugared by reflection and appreciation, and expands from there. I need only to remind myself to keep moving.

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